The TWILIGHT ZONE PARODY

The Twilight Zone Porn Parody starring Jessica Jaymes, Evan Stone, Kylee Reese, Chayse Evans, Kimberly Kane, Eric Swiss, Jack Lawrence, Eric Masterson and directed by Paul Thomas


The Plot: A new couple moves into a neighborhood at the beginning of the sexual revolution and have an effect on the other residents of Venture Lane.... or do they?

: I've seen some complaints that this movie isn't really a parody of The Twilight Zone. It doesn't start with similar music to remind you of the TV show and you don't see the narrator. However, there are some elements reminiscent of the original TV show: There is a voice over at the start and end of the movie, plus it has a very slight twist at the end and presents a moral lesson. I think people tend to forget that not every one of the original TV episodes were gems, some episodes were merely okay and The Twilight Zone Porn Parody would fall into the "okay" category easily.


All the acting was fine in the movie, which should be expected since it starred some of the top talents in the adult industry: Kimberly Kane, Eric Swiss, Evan Stone, and Eric Masterson. My biggest gripe with The Twilight Zone Porn Parody is Paul Thomas went to the trouble to costume the women with period type undergarments and June Cleaver pearls. This was supposed to make you feel it was the late 1950's/early 1960s, but then Thomas cast females with lots of tattoos which just seemed incongruous. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend The Twilight Zone Porn Parody, it's just an average movie and as such rates a C.

ANCHORMAN: A XXX PARODY

Anchorman - A XXX Parody starring Jack Lawrence, India Summer, Anthony Rosano, Eric Masterson, Dana DeArmond, Dale DaBone, Aiden Starr, Tasha Reign, Dylan Ryan, Adriana Sephora with a non-sex cameo by Nina Hartley and directed by Eddie Powell.


It's been a long time since I saw Anchorman and I really don't recall the plot. I found it wasn't necessary to be overly familiar with the original film, because I really enjoyed this movie. In Anchorman - A XXX Parody, Ron Burgundy has made the big time, but gets fired because of a "boob" necklace he wears. When he goes back to his old station, he finds the whole news team is now made up of only women. His all male news team reassembles and hopes to take back the station. Too bad for Ron and his team, because the women are onto their scheme.


Jack Lawerence, who has never impressed me in the past, definitely did in Anchorman - A XXX Parody. Even though Lawrence is doing an imitation of Will Ferrell playing Burgundy, Lawrence seemed believable in the role, while as I remember it, Ferrell was just giving another one of his "look how stupid I can be" performances. The rest of Burgundy's news team, played by Dale DeBone, Anthony Rosano, and Eric Masterson, are also great in their roles.


It goes without saying, since this is a current day porn feature, the sex scenes are too long. I only bring this up to make a special note about Dana DeArmond in her scene with Eric Masterson. While DeArmond wasn't the only actor/performer to remain in character during their sex scenes (most likely due to the direction of Eddie Powell), it was just that Dana was so darn good at remaining in character throughout her scene, it made the segment a lot more interesting and was the standout sex scene of the movie.


This was another great comedy parody from Eddie Powell, who also directed the terrific Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody and while Anchorman: A XXX Parody isn't quite as good as the aforementioned, it still one of the better XXX parodies out there and rates a solid B.

OFFICIAL PSYCHO PARODY

Official Psycho Parody starring Sara Sloane, Ryan McLane,Breanne Benson, Dane Cross, Eric Masterson, Francesca Le, Kagney Linn Karter, Katie Jordan, Lee Stone, Mark Wood, Michael Vegas, Tabitha Stevens and directed by Gary Orona



The Plot: In case there is anyone who hasn't seen the original Psycho (Is that possible?), here's a short plot summary - Woman wants to marry her boyfriend, but he wants to wait until they have some money set aside, since he is financially strapped. She steals cash from her employer and leaves town. She stops at a run down motel run by Norman Bates, who just happens to be a Psycho.



: First things first, even though this movie is titled Official Psycho Parody (I guess to distinguish it from any Unofficial one) this is not really a parody. Official Psycho Parody is what the big mainstream movie studios would call a re-imagining of an original movie. In this case, it just happens to be re-imagined as a porn movie.



Official Psycho Parody takes the basic premise as discussed in the plot summary above, then creatively comes up with its own interpretation of the main character, Norman Bates. The movie opens with titles and music very similar to the original Psycho. This sequence is in black and white, but as the movie begins it turns to color. [There is a black and white version on the extras disc OR you can just turn your color off, if you want to see Official Psycho Parody in black and white ala the original movie. Personally, the color didn't bother me.] Since Sara Sloane (a good casting choice for the Janet Leigh part) and her boyfriend are already in a hotel room at the start, I expected a sex scene but, to my surprise, the movie kept going and skipped that first sex scene many features insist on including, which can bog a plot down from the get-go.



After Sara goes back to the office, we get the plot set-up with her receiving money from one of her boss's clients, which she is supposed to take to the bank. Instead she steals the money, leaving town to meet her boyfriend and start a new life. Along the way she gets off the main road and stops at The Bates Motel, where she meets the proprietor Norman Bates (Ryan McLane, another good casting choice since McLane is able to to bring a certain twitchy creepiness to his role, reminding me of Anthony Perkins in Psycho). At this point the plot of Official Psycho Parody starts to deviate, for the most part, from the original Psycho with only the necessary inclusion of the shower scene.



I'm not going to spoil any more of the movie by going into further detail about the plot of Official Psycho Parody. I will just say it was wonderful to see someone put some thought and creativity into what could have been another run-of-the-mill endeavor. Although the plot makes logical sense and progresses from start to finish, the weakness of Official Psycho Parody comes when a couple of the sex scenes are inserted into the movie. Of the five sex scenes, two are logical, one borders on being logical and two are so illogical they almost seem as though the director is saying "wink wink nudge nudge" we're in a porn movie and now it's time for sex.



Even though it's played straight, the storyline/dialogue has a fair amount of humor with a few laugh out loud moments. A special mention should be made of Tabitha Stevens, who appears in a non-sex role in a couple of flashback sequences as Norman Bates' mother. She gives a superb over-the-top melodramatic performance.



The director, Gary Orona, understood using a minimalistic approach with music to create dramatic tension throughout Official Psycho Parody (Hmm, I wonder who he learned that from...oh yeah, that Hitchcock fellow) and how to use the right type of music. Considering all of the above, plus the great sets and the period costuming of the characters, Orona and his wife Stevens did a terrific job with Official Psycho Parody. If the sex scenes had been more fully integrated into the story line, I could have rated the movie a little bit higher; however, it still gets an A- from me.

PERFECT MATCH

Much like The One, Perfect Match is another example of how a good movie can be made on a small budget IF you have a good director, good writing, and a good cast.

Perfect Match begins at a bar where Katie Morgan and Monica Mayhem are discussing the dating world. Also in the bar are Eric Masterson and Barrett Blade discussing the world of dating. Eric and Barrett have some of the truest sounding male to male peer dialogue I have heard since the first season of Entourage. Their dialogue may have been improvised, but IF it was written, Bravo! to the writer.

We get a flashback with Eric Masterson meeting Hillary Scott at the same bar and this results in the first sex scene, which is set in a bathroom stall. I'm still trying to get a handle on why so many sex scenes in feature XXX movies are set in bathrooms. Is it a fetish, is it easy to shoot, or is it what??? This scene is followed by Katie relating to Monica a bad encounter that she had with a pickup date. The sex scene that follows features Katie and Evan Stone, with Evan being hilarious as someone obsessed with himself (something I secretly think is probably true in real-life). The movie then moves into a confessional set-up style with the actors relating their experiences to the camera for the rest of the movie. All of these confessionals include a lot of humorous lines.

The best of the confessional scenes is when Barrett hooks up with Andreza Valentino and realizes it was a huge mistake. It seems Andreza not only wants "clean" sex talk, but she considers Barrett to be "The One" and is hopelessly in love with him. This was my first encounter with Andreza and even though everyone in the movie was great, she was so perfect in her role that I hope to see her again soon.

Perfect Match has a good flow from start to finish and since it's all about different "dating" partners the sex scenes fit into the plot. The only flaw is, like most modern XXX features, the sex scenes are too long but when (or IF) they become boring to you, just use your FF button. I rate this one an A-

Perfect Match starring Katie Morgan, Hillary Scott, Derrick Pierce, Monica Mayhem, Andreza Valentino, Evan Stone, Eric Masterson, Barrett Blade and directed by Michael Raven

THE ONE

Here's a good example of how to make a low budget movie and come out with a winner. It's pretty obvious that all of The One was shot inside one house, so the major part of funding for this movie had to go to the talent and what a line-up of talent there is: Stormy Daniels, Sunny Lane, Katie Morgan, Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Jonathan Morgan, and Francois Clousot.

The One was written by Stormy Daniels who, once again, proves how good she is at writing these XXX romantic comedies OR for that matter, just about any movie she has written. The One also has one of the better XXX directors, Jonathan Morgan and one of the better cinematographers, Francois Clousot. Of course all of these great performers/actors/director/cinematographer could still have produced a turkey, but that's definitely not the case with The One.

After a brief opening scene with Stormy and Voodoo arriving at Voodoo's house the movie goes straight to a sex scene. I usually hate it when a movie opens with a sex scene, but this one is necessary to set the plot in motion. Following the sex scene, Stormy, not really meaning to, blurts out "I Love You". This causes Stormy and Voodoo both to go into a mild panic, since neither has had a lot of success when they said those three words to different partners in their pasts.

First up, Voodoo "meets" (all of the "meetings" in this movie are only in the minds of Stormy and Voodoo) Sunny Lane. There's some funny dialogue here, as there is throughout the movie, as Sunny peeks in on Stormy and states "You Know Those Ain't Real" (remember this was written by Stormy). In the flashback, Sunny is sitting around talking about Global Warming(!) with a couple of her girlfriends (Kelly Kline and Delilah Strong) and Voodoo is off to the gym, but as soon as he leaves, we find the political talk was just for Voodoo's sake as the toys come out and we get a g/g/g scene. Voodoo forgets something and returns home (amazingly right as the sex scene is ending !) and finds out what has really been going on and ends this relationship. Next up, we see Stormy in a doomed relationship with Mr. Pete. Stormy wants Mr Pete to go down on her, but he's busy playing a video game and suggests she give him head first. Needless to say, after Mr Pete climaxes, he has no further interest in Stormy and goes right back to his game.

The rest of The One shows us more disastrous relationships that Stormy and Voodoo have had with lovers they have used the words "I Love You" with:

It seems Voodoo's girlfriend Cassie Young's trouble was NOT saying "I Love You", since she said it to everyone. We first see her in a full sex scene with the cable repairman, Randy Spears, but then we also see her saying "I Love You" to the pizza guy, the pool boy, and the plumber.

Evan Stone has a great sleaze ball part as a past lover of Stormy's. It seems their relationship broke up when Stormy caught him with Katie Morgan and Brianna Love. Of course, Evan says, "who you going believe, me or your own lying eyes". This scene gave me a laugh out loud moment watching Evan dance!

Nicole Sheridan does a great turn as Voodoo's VERY jealous over-controlling boss who finally fires him and I mean really "fires" him.

Eric Masterson plays the sensitive lover and cries after Stormy tells him she loves him. Eric actually gets the brush off for being too nice of a guy.

After we see all of these failed past relationships, the movie ends on a happy note. Which brings me to another point, a lot of XXX movies don't know how to have an ending and just sort of sputter to a stop. So it's always nice to see a movie that has a plot that starts and finishes, all with logical sense. The only flaw I can see with The One is the title. I think it could have used a title that would better illustrated what it was going to be about - i.e. - Three Little Words, Three Words, Don't Ever Say That or something along that line. Regardless of the title The One still rates a solid A with me.

The One starring Stormy Daniels, Brianna Love, Cassie Young, Delilah Strong, Katie Morgan, Kelly Kline, Nicole Sheridan, Sunny Lane, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone, Mr. Pete, Randy Spears, Voodoo and directed by Jonathan Morgan

SLEEPING AROUND

Stormy proves once again that she's a triple threat as she writes, directs and stars in the XXX romantic comedy Sleeping Around. This is a tale of two sisters: Stormy, a high powered business woman who's more interested in sex than love; and her sister Eva Angelina, a shy coffee shop employee who's more interested in love than sex.

Eva has a date with Randy Spears (in full slime ball mode) who with some smooth lines and light persistence talks Eva into bed. The next day Eva tells Stormy all about Randy and how she thinks he's the "one". Eva can't wait for him to call her again....needless to say, Randy ain't calling...as far as he was concerned, it was a one night stand. At the coffee shop, another waiter, Eric Masterson (in full geek mode) sees how despondent Eva is and jokingly offers to have Randy killed. It's pretty obvious that Eric has a big crush on Eva, but just like in any mainstream version of this type movie....she can't see it.

Stormy decides to take Eva out to a club to get her mind off Randy. At the club Van Damage offers to buy them drinks, but Stormy rudely brushes him off. In the meantime Eva has seen Randy leave the club with two other women, Haley Paige and Sammie Rhodes. Eva rushes out and follows him in her car. Stormy leaves the club to follow her sister, but finds she has a flat tire. Van offers to change it for her and we also find out that he's a doctor. While this seems to be an unimportant detail at the time, it plays into the plot later. Stormy agrees to give Van a ride home since she feels bad about how she treated him inside the club.

Back at Randy's, we find him using the same lines on his two new conquests that he used on Eva. Randy has talked Haley and Sammie into making out with each other, but the action is interrupted when he hears a knock at the door. It's Eva who has come to tell him off, but Randy just slams the door in her face. She winds up trying to drive home, but is so upset she just parks on the side of the road where she is found by Stormy and Van.

Sleeping Around skips ahead a month and we find Stormy and Van Damage in a relationship. He asks her to meet him at a restaurant where unbeknown to Stormy he is going to introduce her to his parents. Van Damage gets beeped for an emergency (see I told you, him being a doctor would come back into play), and while he's gone Stormy is hit on....by none other than....you guessed it....Randy Spears. She let's him take her back to her place, where Stormy uses the same moves Randy used on her sister. This makes Randy suspicious and he tries to get away from Stormy, but she forces him into her bedroom and handcuffs him to her bed. Stormy is dissatisfied with Randy's sexual performance and let's him know about it. Stormy leaves the bedroom and re-enters wearing a strap-on. Cut to next morning and Randy, laying on his stomach, is professing his love for Stormy, but she leaves him cold as revenge for her sister.

Stormy gets to tell Eva about exacting revenge for her and this helps Eva move on with her life. Eva finally recognized that Eric is the one for her and the final sex scene finds the two of them in his sci-fi bedroom with Eva showing up in costume to further Eric's sci-fi fantasies. Eric has a funny line here with "Houston, we have liftoff! This is just one of many funny lines throughout the movie showing Stormy's deft touch at writing light comedy.

Sleeping Around didn't break a lot of new ground for a romantic comedy, but Stormy was successfully able to use the same mainstream conventions within a XXX setting. Unlike most mainstream movies, there was a twist with Stormy's own life not working out with a "happy ever after" ending, When Van found out she had had sex with someone else, he dumped her, thus ruining her own relationship. Stormy's movies give a perspective not always seen in XXX features, that women are as powerful as men. It just so happened that the power that Stormy possessed wound up resulting in her own unhappiness. I rate this one a B+

Sleeping Around starring Eva Angelina, Stormy Daniels, Sammie Rhodes, Van Damage, Marcus London, Holly Wellin, Haley Paige, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Scott Styles and directed/written by Stormy Daniels

WHAT'S A GIRL GOTTA DO?

This movie had a couple of things going for it from the start with the combination of Stormy Daniels, one of the best light comedy actresses in XXX movies today, and Jonathan Morgan, one of the best XXX comedy directors. If What's A Girl Gotta Do? didn't contain hardcore sex scenes, but instead was an R rated movie, I think it would fall into the category of a "Madcap Sex Romp".

Stormy is up for a big promotion at work and is going to throw a dinner party to impress her boss, Randy Spears. Stormy has invited people to her party who she considers to be important and/or interesting. She thinks once her boss meets these people, he will be so impressed with her "crowd", he will have a higher opinion of her. As Stormy tells us about each of her guests we meet them and this sets up, for the most part, a sex scene. When the movie FINALLY gets to the actual party, Jonathan Morgan shines with his comedic story telling and Stormy shines with her adept feel for light comedy.

As the guests start to arrive at the party, everywhere you look things are starting to go pieces: VooDoo has thrown his back out while having sex and he's lying naked on the bathroom floor; the caterers have canceled at the last minute; unexpected guests are showing up; and on top of all that, the boss is thinking about skipping out early.


Everyone in What's A Girl Gotta Do? does a good acting job, there wasn't a weak actor in the cast. The person that really surprised me was VooDoo, who carries off the comic bit about his back being out, that rivals the "madcapness" you usually only see coming from Stephen St. Croix or Eric Masterson.

There's a lot of great one-liners in What's A Girl Gotta Do? included in the great comedic situations. My only complaint (other than too many boob jobs) would be that the first part of the movie was close to a vignette style, with only very short bits of dialogue, followed by long sex scenes; while the last part of the movie was a great comedy with just a couple of sex scenes. Too bad the comedy and the sex couldn't have been more evenly spaced. I rate What's A Girl Gotta Do? a B+


In what is really an "extra scene", the credits are interrupted by Eric Masterson, asking if we want to see him get his freak on. This was a pretty good way to include another sex scene in What's A Girl Gotta Do? without using some hackneyed plot device (i.e. watching a porn movie on TV in the movie) to force another scene into the plot.

What's A Girl Gotta Do? starring Nicole Sheridan, Stormy Daniels, Voodoo, Kelli Tyler, Rita Faltoyano, Alexis Malone, Evan Stone, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Steven St. Croix and directed by Jonathan Morgan.

NAKED ILLUSIONS

When I saw the great artwork on the front of this box and saw that Naked Illusions was directed by Randy Spears, written by Cash Markman, and starred Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, and Eric Masterson, I was sure this was going to be a great movie. Well, I was half right!

Brad Armstrong plays a magician who has written a bestseller exposing the secrets of magic. He is performing at a club with his assistants Devon Michaels and Carmen Hart. Eric Masterson is his agent and is having an affair with Brad's wife, Katie Morgan. While Brad is performing his act on stage, Katie and Eric have sex backstage and I have to say that this was the most uninspired sex scene I have ever seen Katie perform. During part of his disappearing act on stage, Brad sneaks backstage and kills Katie while Eric is in the shower. Although, I'm somewhat a fan of Katie's, I wasn't disappointed to find she wouldn't be in the rest of the movie, since not only her sex scene was bad but her acting was also leaving something to be desired. Brad thinks he has an ironclad alibi and he plans to pin the murder on Eric.

Devon Michaels, Brad's number one assistant, has been having an affair with Brad and once the duo arrive back at Brad's, they of course celebrate by having sex. Brad next goes to see Eric's wife, August Night, and hypnotizes her by having her look in a glass of wine. If that sounds stupid, then watch the movie, because it is STUPID. While he has her under his spell he convinces her that her husband, Eric, really did kill Katie. Brad decides to have sex with August and has her imagine someone from her past that she has always been hot for. We then get a sex scene between August and Seth Dickens.

Up to this point in Naked Illusions I was pretty disappointed in the movie. The plot was just so-so and Brad Armstrong, never the best actor in XXX to begin with, was really weak in his role. I think Brad was trying to appear super egotistical, which would have fit with his character; instead he came off as just overacting. Whatever the problem, he was really pulling the movie down. I kept thinking, why didn't Randy cast himself in this role, he would have been perfect for it.

I was determined to continue watching what I was starting to consider a really poor choice in my rental selection, when the movie turned itself around. What caused this sudden switch, I can only think it was the result of one person - Carmen Hart.

Brad sends his assistant Carmen off with Van Damage as some extra compensation for Van Damage signing Brad to a Vegas contract. Van Damage remarks that he doesn't know how this happened and thinks Brad may have hypnotized him. Since Carmen tells Van Damage that Brad always gets what he wants, we have to assume he's been hypnotizing lots of people. This probably also includes us viewers, since the magic tricks Brad performs are juvenile level tricks that really aren't very convincing for the great magician he's supposed to be. Carmen brings some heat to her sex scene, which is good, since all the previous ones in Naked Illusions had just been your standard "by the numbers" scenes.

Carmen's up again in the next scene as she confronts Brad and tells him that she knows how he killed his wife. We then see a flashback explaining how he did it. She promises not to turn him in IF she can go back to being his number one assistant, get a raise, and they can be "bad" together. HEY! It looks like she's pretty easy to please! So Brad goes along with her. This results in another sex scene which is almost, but not quite as good as Carmen's other scene.

Brad decides to double cross Carmen and he's going to kill her onstage during a "sword through the box trick", but the detective who has been on the case from the start and has always doubted Brad, catches on in the nick of time and arrests him. In a funny moment (probably the only "intentionally" humorous moment in the film), Carmen is inside the box yelling "I'll tell everything" and "let me out". No one lets her out and the last we see of her are her eyes peeking out a slit in the box and she's still yelling over and over for somebody to please get her out.

Brad is in jail, but the very end of the movie leaves some doubt in the viewers mind that he may escape the clutches of the law, OR they were setting up for a sequel, which thank goodness never occurred.

Carmen Hart brought a "double whammy" of being a good actress in her role and a good performer in her sex scenes, both together really helped save this movie from turning into a real clunker. I have yet to see any movie where she has not been excellent in both her acting and performing, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that that trend continues.

Naked Illusions was touted as being Randy Spears first direction job for Wicked and was made a year before his excellent Off The Air. I will give Randy credit for having huge chunks of plot between the sex scenes, a nice touch. Plus, the sex scenes while long, for the most part, weren't mind numbingly long, another nice touch. In my opinion, this was the worst scripted Cash Markman movie I've ever seen. The main reason for this, I believe, is that Cash is better at writing comedy than he is at writing drama. As they say in The Big Lebowski (the real one, not that travesty of a porn parody) - " You're Out of Your Element, Donnie (Cash)"

Rating: first half: D ..... Second half: B ..... Average: C

Naked Illusions starring Van Damage, Devon Michaels, Carmen Hart, Katie Morgan, Seth Dickens, August Night, Eric Masterson, Brad Armstrong and directed by Randy Spears

RENDEZVOUS

I haven't had much luck with David Stanley movies. While nothing has been bad, I've only seen one (Carmen Goes South) that I felt was anything more than average. Rendezvous is no exception, but it does have some of the better adult actors involved in the production: Carmen Hart, Randy Spears, and Eric Masterson.

Rendezvous begins with Randy Spears going on a business trip and we find that he is married to Jamie Huxley, who cares nothing for Randy. When Randy arrives at his hotel (which appears to be in some Third World Country), he is greeted by Eric Masterson, an insane desk clerk. Eric Masterson shows us he can get his crazy on with the best of them (i.e. Steven St. Croix). At first Eric tells Randy that he doesn't have a room for him, but eventually agrees to give him a room.

Randy can't get his wife on the phone and we see that she is busy having sex with Barrett Blade. Randy falls asleep and dreams that a lovely woman is rubbing her feet and legs all over him. Much to his surprise, when he awakes he finds Carmen Hart is in his bed. It seems that this is her room and she freaks out finding Randy in her bed and kicks him out.

Randy tries to deal with the insane desk clerk again but only gets sent back to share the room with Carmen, who for some reason, now doesn't object. On his return to the room, Randy finds Carmen is watching a porno on the TV and he watches along with her. This is a porn plot that I always consider a cheating way of inserting another sex scene in the movie without using any plot and I have seen David Stanley use this in some of his other movies.

The plot of Rendezvous really started to bog down to me at this point, since it turned mainly into a succession of sex scenes: The next morning when Randy awakes he finds Carmen having sex with the maid, when they move to the bed, Randy leaves for the dining room; in the dining room Randy sees another couple getting hot and heavy with each other and he leaves (only in pornos do people have sex in a dining room occupied by other people......unless I've just been going to the wrong restaurants); then after that sex scene finishes, next up is a sex scene between Carmen and Eric Masterson.

Rendezvous finally gets back on track and turns itself into a romance between Carmen and Randy. The movie has a little bit of a twist ending, which I won't reveal here. I did enjoy the movie, but a lot of that had to do with having three strong XXX actors who were able to carry a humorous but weak and flimsy plot. I grade this one a C

Rendezvous starring Mika Tan, Talon, Carmen Hart, Joanna Angel, Stephanie Tripp, Jamie Huxley, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Chris Cannon, Barrett Blade and directed by David Stanley

2040

WARNING! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW. There is no way I can talk about this movie without giving away some of the plot points.

I've had this one for a while and when I saw the length(167 minutes, and that's not counting the 2 bonus discs that I didn't rent), I put it aside. When I finally got around to watching it, I wished I had done so sooner, since it is one of the better plotted modern porn movies I have seen in a while. Of course some of the length of the movie is due to the sex scenes being too long, but when they start to bore me, well, that's when the FF button is handy.

2040 opens with a voice over telling how a bad disease has caused people to stop having sex with each other. People have turned to virtual sex, however there are still a few people making porn movies.

The movie starts with the son of Randy Spears (Randy Spears) being directed by the son of Barrett Blade (of course played by Barrett Blade),shooting a movie using a green screen with a futuristic looking camera. The female in the scene is Alexis Texas and she looked stoned and out of it. This reminded me of some of those Golden Age porn movies where sometimes you ran across an actress who was actually stoned and out of it. We find out that Alexis isn't a real person, she's a sexdroid, and just needs some time to warm up. Alexis did a pretty decent job of appearing to be non-human, although she did slip and blink her eyes a couple of times. I'm actually going to blame that on the director and/or editor since these slips could have been re-shot or edited better.


Alexis breaks down and there's a fairly humorous bit about getting the sex scene finished. Since a new female/humanoid will be needed in order to continue shooting, they call in Marcus London and his sex doll, Alektra Blue (photo above). Marcus London has made a sexdroid who is super life like, her body even reacts to stimuli. News of this new sex doll spreads to the competition: Real Dolls, which is run by Brad Armstrong. It seems Marcus used to work for Brad and Brad considers Marcus's new doll stolen work that belongs to Real Dolls. Brad calls in Kaylani Lei to take care of Marcus. To my surprise Kaylani Lei arrived in a real helicopter, that I assume was rented especially for the movie.

2040 shifts the focus back to Marcus' company, where we find they have also made a male sex doll (Eric Masterson) and Kirsten Price is putting the finishing touches on him (which of course leads to a sex scene). Kaylani arrives at the lab looking for Marcus. When she finds that he's not there she uses a shock weapon on Kirsten and then trashes the lab.

A Brief Interruption: I typed the above after watching the first part of 2040. Later, when watching the second part of 2040, a funny thing occurred, I found the second half to be a lot weaker that the first half. Is it because I lost the momentum of the movie by not watching it straight through or is the second half just not as good? Sorry for the interruption, now back to the plot.

2040 shifts back to Real Dolls as Jessica Drake shows Kaylani around. We learn that the company did a lot of work in making artificial limbs for the military and that this research helped them in making body parts used for sex more realistic. We also get told how much money Real Dolls is set to make if Marcus doesn't interfere. Somehow everyone gets "hot" touring the factory and this results in the next sex scene. I found this to be the first weak spot, since it seemed the sex scene had been forced into the plot. Next, we are taken directly back to the lab where Mikayla Mendez tests out some of the new creations at Real Dolls. I think this is the spot where I really starting losing interest and it could have been packing (no pun intended) these two sex scenes so close together.

Jessica goes to see Marcus and tries to talk him into making a deal with Brad, leading to yet another sex scene forced into the plot. When Jessica gets back to Real Dolls she has a talk with Mikayla about whether the Dolls have any consciousness, but Jessica explains that's the type of thing that got Marcus the boot to start with and the topic is best left alone. It seems that's the major conflict between the two - Marcus wants to make dolls that actually have human feelings and Brad wants to make a pure sex product.

Back to Marcus' lab and we find that he has upgraded Alektra and she is becoming more human. There's also a funny sequence here with Alektra teaching Kirsten how to dance. This is probably the best scene in part two of 2040.


Next we are taken to The 55th AEE Expo and this is probably the worst scene in 2040. It's poorly shot and the only reason for it to be in the movie is to enable an orgy scene. We do find out here that Alektra has feelings for Randy and vice versa, resulting in another sex scene. After Randy and Alectra's sex scene, he takes her to the beach, they find a dead crab and he teaches her about death. Randy and Alektra next attend a play and Alektra finds it so beautiful that she is moved to tears (well a tear). 2040 was starting to get really boring to me by this time.

Brad goes to see Marcus and after a struggle Marcus is shot. Brad now has possession of Alektra (sex scene follows). This is then followed by a lot of plot that I translate as: "let's wind this fucking (pun intended) movie up". I won't give the ending away, but will just say it includes a death, a rescue, and a happily ever after with Randy and Alektra walking down the beach. This ending reminded me of a saying we had as kids: "Gag me with a maggot".

I still think the first part of 2040 was above my expectations and that the second part had too many sex scenes that didn't flow with the movie and too many cliches in the plot. As you know I'm only interested in plots here at "XXX Marks The Plot", for a deeper look into 2040 I encourage you to check out Gore Gore Girl's review: CLICK HERE. I'm grading this one an A- for the first half and a C+ for the second half, which averages out to a B

2040 starring Marco Banderas, Alexis Texas, Alektra Blue, Jessica Drake, Tory Lane, Kaylani Lei, Rocco Reed, Kirsten Price, Janet Mason, Marcus London, Bill Bailey, TJ Cummings, Kayla Carrera, Mikayla Mendez, Jayden Jaymes, Mick Blue, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears, Brad Armstrong, Eric Masterson and directed by Brad Armstrong

LIES

From the back of the box: "Will a little white lie lead police investigators to uncover the truth about Vicki (Kirsten Price)? Or will they discover a twisted tale of betrayal at the hands of her best friend Felecia (Alektra Blue)...one girl is dead, but which one? ... Full DescriptionIt's up to the police to expose a web of lies and uncover the dark secrets of these two friends..."

As the police detectives try to solve the case in this murder mystery, we have a series of possible suspects brought in for questioning. Each of these suspects has an alibi proving that they couldn't have done it, because they were having sex at the time. Each suspect has a flashback sequence and these compose the sex scenes in the movie.

Lies is surprisingly short (86 minutes) and since the movie contains five sex scenes, none of the sex scenes run so long that they start to become boring, which is always a plus for me. In the first sex scene between Tommy Gunn and Kirsten Price, the director Francois Clousot, really lets the camera "love" Kirsten Price's body, making this one of the better erotic sex scenes I have seen in a XXX movie in quite some time. Unfortunately, the rest of the sex scenes in Lies were pretty much your standard issue.

Lies is filled with some of the top actor/performers in the porn genre and while everyone is good, no one really stood out. The plot while not unique to mainstream movies was fairly novel for a XXX feature. The use of flashbacks to include the sex scenes made them fit coherently with the plot and as mentioned above were short enough not to grind the story to a halt. Taking all of these things into consideration, I'm grading this one a solid B

Lies starring Alektra Blue, Jessica Drake, Rayveness, Kirsten Price, Rocco Reed, Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Barrett Blade and directed by Francios Clousot

3 WISHES

Eric Masterson is having a bad day to say the least. He gets fired from his job, he gets rained on leaving the office, when he gets home he finds out that his girlfriend is running off with the cable guy and to add insult to injury the cable's still not fixed. Eric is so distraught after everything that has happened he says "I would sell my soul to the Devil to watch that game" ...POOF...Eric is in Hell with the Devil (Devon Michaels). The Devil has a big fat contract that will grant Eric 3 Wishes in exchange for his soul. Eric is reluctant at first, but finally decides to go with the deal. His first wish is not only to get his job back, but to be "The Boss". This definitely does not work out like he hoped. He goes for his second wish, which also goes haywire. Eric decides he wants out of his contract and gets Stormy, his next door neighbor who is a paralegal to look over the contract. She advises him NOT to use his 3rd wish and everything will be ok. Eric can't resist and makes his 3rd wish and Stormy has to save his soul herself.

I have purposely left out what goes wrong with Eric's wishes, since that would spoil most of your fun when you watch 3 Wishes. I also am not revealing how Stormy saves Eric in the end, since there is just a slight twist to the plot involving Stormy and The Devil.

Eric Masterson excels at playing nerdy guys. He is well cast here in his part which calls for a lot of reaction shots and delivery of some pretty comedic lines. Eric ranks up there with the best of today's male porn actors. Sometimes I think people only consider him a supporting actor and don't really think of him as 'the leading man" since he acts the dweeb so much.

Stormy wrote and directed 3 Wishes. Her writing is A-1, as good as the writing would be in a mainstream movie using this type of plot (which I have been told is the plot to "Bedazzled", but I haven't seen that movie). Her direction on the plot parts of the movie are well done. Her direction on the sex scenes are lackluster: shoot here, pan to inanimate object, back to sex scene which has now shifted positions, repeat for the next 20 minutes (YES, the sex scenes are way too long).

Besides the long sex scenes, I only have a two other minor complaints with 3 Wishes. Besides Jasmine Byrne, who plays Eric's girlfriend, every other female has fake tits. While Stormy obviously has had a top of the line boob job, the other performers have not, with Devon's being particularly bad. My last gripe is the casting of Devon as The Devil. I guess that Stormy being female thought casting a woman as the Devil would be a novel idea and there is even some dialog about why a woman is actually The Devil. I probably wouldn't have had any problem with this, except Stormy had the perfect devil - Tommy Gunn - he's already got The Devil look, instead he is wasted in 3 Wishes as The Devil's minion.

3 Wishes, like the majority of the other movies that Stormy has written/directed is better than most of what you find in modern day comedy porno movies. I really don't think you can go wrong if you see her name attached in those capacities. If she ever decides to leave the acting/performing side of XXX movies, she could still have a career in the directing/writing side of them. I rate this one a B+

3 Wishes starring: Jada Fire, Eva Angelina, Jasmine Byrne, Stormy Daniels, Devon Michaels, Lexi Lamour, Ethan Cage, Nick Jacobs, Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Billy Glide and directed by Stormy Daniels