What the Fuck, Jordan Lee?

This is craziness! That's all I can say.

My previous post brought Jordan Lee back to mind. Although I was a frequent visitor of Porn Star Uncensored back in the nineties, it seemed like I was into everyone except the site's namesake.

My curiosity piqued I figure I do some light research, at least refresh my memory as to what she looked like.

What Google turned up was an old article from the Dallas Observer about the insane multiples lives of Jordan Lee.

If nine pages is too much to read, let me summarize.

1. Jordan Lee takes her kid and leaves her husband for a drug fueled stay in New York with her paramour, a pimp named Martin Fish.

2. Her husband finds documents indicating that Jordan also known as Samantha Kastler, was actually born Gloria Grimes and has been lying about her identity, age, other hubands, the list goes on...

3. Prior to her porn career, Jordan, along with Kastler, and a man named Len Baxley were all Dallas police officers who specialized on DWI's. The three of them were all indicted for fraud.

4. Baxley proclaims his innocence. He says that Jordan, who later turns states evidence against Baxley and Kastler, set him up.

5. When told of her penchent for identity theft by Kastler, Baxely resolves to hunt Jordan down.

6. Lulz!!!

I put this dizzying article behind me. I'm still in pornstalgic mode, so I figure I do a search for Madelyn Night, a woman I was very much in love with in my youth.

I get this Luke Ford post saying that she may or may not be dead. According to her cousin Madelyn Night died during childbirth in February of 2008. But Pamela Peaks claimed to have seen her escorting in New York in May 2008.

Its a pickle, Oruba, but what does this have to do with anything?

It gets good, trust me:

The cousin claims that the ex-husband and his girlfriend (Martin Fish and Jordan Lee) stole Madelyn Night’s identity and setup an illegal escorting company in her name and even hired porn star look a likes to pose as porn star escorts, including a girl who could have been Jenna Jameson’s twin sister.

The cousin also claims that Martin Fish and his girlfriend Jordan Lee took the identity theft a step further and filed a federal trademark for Madelyn Night and continued to use it and profit from this fraud for years

And this is where I stop reading because I know my head will explode if I go on. Shit like this doesn't happen in real life. My brain refuses to accept this isn't fiction.

Someone really really needs to write a book.

Discovering Pamela Peaks

A search for one Ugly Girl Porn leads to another. I was searching for background info on Rubee Tuesday not too long ago when I came across an interview she did with Pamela Peaks.

For those of you not familiar with Ms. Peaks, let me draw you a picture: fake boobs, fake tan, press-on nails, hair extensions, collagen-injected bass lips, cheek implants. And get this: her makeup is tattooed on! What we're left with is this grotesque Bride of FrankenPorn. Reminds me of Escape from LA when Snake finds himself in that enclave filled with people addicted to plastic surgery. I should've continued my search for Rubee Tuesday smut or better yet, stopped looking for porn altogether and done something constructive with my life. I should've found Pamela Peaks disgusting. And yet, at this point predictably, I was intrigued.

It took a bit of work, but I found a hardcore scene she did. Let me tell you, it was god awful. The guy had a small dick and a potbelly. He looks suspiciously like the nut job who fucks crackheads. The whole scene lasted all of five minutes and were interjected with odd clips of Pamela getting hit in the face with could have been a high-powered mayonnaise gun.

[EDIT: I got another look at Street Walkers #3 and I don't know what the hell I was thinking. The guy wasn't potbellied. He had a stocky middle aged body, nothing to be ashamed of, and his dick was as big as mine if not bigger. Strange what you remember. Mayonnaise gun bit is pretty accurate]

And I got off. I think the situation has grown dire. It's only a matter of time before I start beating off to pictures of Jocelyn Wildenstein. The line has been crossed long ago. The end of the road is near, Please, friends, say a prayer for me.

Only a matter of time