SPIDER-MAN XXX: A PARODY

Spider-Man XXX: A Parody starring Xander Corvus, Sarah Shevon, Tyler Knight, Tara Lynn Foxx, Dick Delaware, Capri Anderson, Ash Hollywood, Seth Dickens, Brooklyn Lee
Non-sex roles: Lily LaBeau, Blyth Hess, Rob Black, Peter O’Tool, James Bartholet, William Bibbiani (of Geekscape), Michael Vegas, Shylar Cobi and directed by Axel Braun

The Plot: Spider-Man vs. Electro

: I really liked Xander Corvus as the titular character in Spider-Man XXX . I thought he made a better Spider-Man than Tobey McGuire. More great casting in Spider-Man XXX was Capri Anderson as Mary Jane, Rob Black as Jonah Jameson and Peter O'Tool as The Kingpin. Casting correctly always helps a film, but the cast also has to be able to act and there's not a weak actor in the bunch (although Peter O'Tool did falter briefly in one of his scenes). Kudos to Xander Corvus who did an outstanding job of acting, not only as Peter Parker, but also when costumed as Spider-Man.


I found it interesting Spider-Man XXX seemed to be picking up the story line between the first and second Spider-Man movies, since Peter Parker attends the funeral of Norman Osborn (The Green Goblin) and Doctor Octavious (Doc Ock) shows up at the very end of this film (a nod to Spider-Man 2). This allowed Axel Braun to create his own arc in the world of the Marvel Universe. Braun appears he may have his eye on creating more smash-ups of porn/Marvel, since the movie makes note of The Avengers, Black Widow (Hawk-eye's girlfriend) and Captain America.


There were a few minor problems with Spider-Man XXX: The special effects are pretty good in the movie with the exception of Spider-Man flying from building to building - which looked like something taken from an older video game; Tyler Knight was fine in his role, but unfortunately someone decided to spray a light top layer of gray on his hair and it just made him look odd; and several scenes in the movie had background music which overpowered the dialogue. The main flaw with Spider-Man XXX was the LONG sex scenes breaking up the flow of the narrative. The movie runs approximately 100 minutes with 80 minutes given over to sex scenes and 20 minutes to the plot. Even a 50/50 split between sex and story would have elevated Spider-Man XXX to a classic XXX parody. With the few minor flaws mentioned above, I'm still grading Spider-Man XXX an A- and it deserves that grade, if for nothing else, the porn version of the famous upside down kiss between Spidey and Mary Jane....which of course plays out a little different in Spider-Man XXX.

THIS AIN'T STAR TREK XXX #2 The Butterfly Effect

I've seen one terrible Axel Braun movie - Letterman's Nailin' Palin and one very good Axel Braun movie - This Ain't Star Trek XXX. Considering that sequels are hardly ever as good as the original, I knew that watching This Ain't Star Trek XXX - 2 (ST2) would be taking a chance on seeing another bad porn parody. Surprisingly, while it didn't live up to the first Star Trek parody, it wasn't totally bad......but it also wasn't totally good.

Bones, Spock, and Captain Kirk beam down to the planet Butterfly 8 to investigate a missing mining vessel. The trio are captured with Captain Kirk (Evan Stone) being separated from Bones (Cheyne Collins) and Spock (Tony DeSergio). Two creatures come to interrogate Bones and Spock, Bones tells them that he's just a doctor and that Spock has all the info they might need. The two creatures take off their heads and we see they're actually two babes (Kagney Linn Karter and Madison Scott), who continue to take off stuff until their butterfly wings (cheap ass looking cardboard) are revealed. Looks like Bones has messed up, since now he has to sit in the corner while Spock has sex with the two maidens. From what I could understand, having sex is the way they drain the information from their opponents. Why Spock was susceptible to their charms, I can only guess it was "The Butterfly Effect", otherwise, this is quite illogical.


Back on the Enterprise, Sulu (Keni Styles) and Checkov (Joey Brass) are concerned that they can't contact the landing party. They also can't get a hold of the senior officer on board, Scotty (Anthony Roasano). The reason, they can't get Scotty is he's busy having sex with Uhura (Jada Fire). Conveniently, they find Scotty and Uhura just as they finish their sex scene! Scotty asks them to keep this quiet and he'll beam them down to find the landing party. Scotty is still distracted thinking about Uhura and accidentally beams Sulu and Checkov to 1963, where they find President Kennedy (Johnny Castle) having sex with Marilyn Monroe (Alexis Texas), the night before he is supposed to leave for Dallas.

Ok, this scene really didn't have anything to do with the rest of the movie, but if you remember the original Star Trek, they sometimes interacted with past historical characters. Anyway, Sulu and Chekov hide and watch Kennedy and Marilyn have sex. This actually turned out to be the best sex scene in the movie. Johnny Castle made a terrible Kennedy and his accent wasn't even close, BUT, Alexis made a great Marilyn in the white dress from "The Seven Year Itch", which she keeps on during the whole scene. Alexis also maintains her character talking to the President in her Marilyn voice throughout the whole scene, occasionally calling him Mr. President. Alexis really made this scene stand out and definitely brought some heat to the movie.


After the sex scene, Sulu and Chekov warn the President not to go to Dallas the next day because he will be assassinated. In a "You Can't Change History", we learn later, that even though Kennedy didn't go to Dallas, he was still killed the next day by Jackie, when she caught him with Marilyn.

Sulu and Chekov finally get beamed to the correct place and are immediately captured by Jennifer Dark, resulting once again in a sex scene. How will the crew get out of their predicament? I'll let you watch the movie and find out, but I will tell you, in case you haven't noticed, Captain Kirk has been missing since he was captured at the first of the movie. When ST2 finally gets back to him, we find him in the bedroom of The Queen of Butterfly 8 (Kimberly Kane)


It seemed to me that the plot of ST2 was awfully thin and was just sandwiched between very l-o-n-g sex scenes that didn't flow very good with the story. In other words, the story existed to get to the sex scenes, rather than the sex scenes existed because of the story. Besides Johnny Castle's terrible Kennedy accent, several other actor/performers also wavered with their accents throughout ST2. As far as characterization, only Evan Stone as Kirk, Anthony Roasano as Scotty and Alexis Texas as Marilyn seemed to understand their roles and made the effort to have constant accents. Taking into account all of the above, I rate this one a C+

This Ain't Star Trek 2: The Butterfly Effect starring Alexis Texas, Jada Fire, Anthony Rosano, Kimberly Kane, Kagney Linn Karter, Tony de Sergio, Johnny Castle, Jennifer Dark, Madison Scott, Joey Brass, Keni Styles and directed by Axel Braun