SHAGNET

This movie was made in 2001 before the current new wave of parodies and Shagnet illustrates the right way to make a XXX spoof/parody unlike some of the newer stabs at this genre. While doing some research on Shagnet, I found some evidence that Joe Thursday was also a character in "Pleasureville" and that Thursday and Blannon were also in "Desperately Seeking Shay". Unfortunately, I have not seen either of those two movies and cannot confirm those facts. However, both of those movies were also directed and written by Cash Markman, so it appears those facts are probably correct.

Shagnet begins just like Dragnet with a voice over by Joe and a view of the Los Angeles City Hall. It's 1970 and inside City Hall we find Joe Thursday (Steve Austin) and Officer Blannon (Anthony Crane) as they are being given their assignment to crack down on the porn films being made in the San Fernando Valley. It seems that in the past year, 12 porn movies have been made. Joe and Blannon's Captain tells them if this doesn't stop, by 2001 they could be making up to 50 porn movies a year.

Joe and Blannon are sent to investigate a complaint that has been made by Ward and June Bluepecker (Mike Horner and Elizabeth X). They have been hearing peculiar noises coming from next door. The gag in the movie is that Mike and Elizabeth are watching Shagnet on TV. They can see the cops arriving at their house and walking up to their door. Joe and Blannon investigate next door and find Cash Markman shooting a porn. Since the Bluepecker's are still watching Shagnet on their TV, they can see the porn scene that is being shot and we get two sex scenes here, one of the porn shoot and one with Ward and June, who have gotten hot from watching the action on their TV.

The pornography laws are weak and Joe and Blannon don't see any way they can arrest anyone for anything. Later, they decide to return to the house where the porn movie is being shot, but are denied entry without a warrant. They sneak around back and peek over the fence to watch another porn shoot happening outside. This scene is between a war protester (Evan Stone) and the Governor's wife (Jewel De'Nyle). Give Evan credit, since during the sex scene he tries to stay in character saying something that would fit with the scene; however, it's obvious from the odd reaction that Jewel gives him that she doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. Joe and Blannon still don't see anything that occurs during this scene that they think they can arrest anyone for, so they decide to try another tactic.

Joe and Blannon go undercover and dress as a couple of women and arrive at the porn set. At the set, they are sent to make-up and advised to apply it heavily. Joe gets a sex scene here dressed as a woman and we have to assume that his partner (Angelica Sin) just thinks he's a she/male. The funny touch comes at the end of this scene where a new performer named Ron Jeremy (remember this is suppose to be 1970) is told he needs to do a dirty hard anal scene. Ron mistakenly thinks they mean Joe, who is still dressed as a woman and Joe gets nailed from behind by Ron.

Back at the station Joe and Blannon have brought in Sunshine Love (Kate Frost) for questioning. Joe has to leave the room and rush to the bathroom, since after his anal probe from Ron he's been having a lot of trouble with his rear end. While he's gone Blannon has a sex scene with Kate, but Joe returns and breaks up the sex (no pop shot here), still Blannon states that having sex with the hippie was "groovy".

The cops finally get a stronger law and are able to bust the pornographers. Shagnet ends just like TV's Dragnet, showing what the porn people were convicted of and their sentences. Then the arm bangs "Mark Cashman" into the screen instead of "Mark VII"

Shagnet had a logical plot from start to finish, the sex scenes flowed with the story and there were a lot of really funny lines. Steve Austin and Anthony Crane understood their parts and did a great job as Joe and Blannon. They had the clipped talk, nodding at each others dialogue, and the stick up the butt walk down perfect. Shagnet also went the extra mile by placing some older cars on the street in order to make you believe it was 1970. The weakest part of Shagnet was the sex scenes, but I'm still grading this one an A-

Shagnet starring Angelica Sin, Bridgette Kerkove, Cash Markman, Elizabeth X, Jewel De'Nyle, Kate Frost, Alec Metro, Anthony Crane, Evan Stone, Frank Buckwyd, Mike Horner, Steve Austin, Ted Hunter, Ron Jeremy and directed/written by Cash Markman